•  Change what you dislike about yourself instead of disliking your whole self.
•  Journal every day
•  Travel once a month, even if it isn’t far.
•  Do something that scares you every single day, soon you won’t be so scared of everything
•  Focus on what makes you happy before you worry about the happiness of others
• Don’t let others opinions of you weigh down who you are, you should listen to what they have to say, but that doesn’t mean you have to do as they say.
•  Quit being so impulsive, you don’t have to rush everything, you’re still so young!
•  Make a list of everything you want to accomplish in the day, week, month,  year, and follow it!
•  Work out every single day, trust me, you’ll feel so much better.
• Become vegan and stick to it: Come on, you know it makes you feel better when your diet is plant based…and coconut ice cream…so no excuses
• Read something you enjoy every single day be it, The New Yorker, a novel, or a trashy magazine, you owe it to yourself to read something that isn’t peer reviewed.
• Take the dogs to the park at least once a week, you know you have time, so just do it, they’ll throw you extra dance parties, I’m sure of it!
• Organize something, you’re a tornado!
• Write down your anxieties and realize just how ludicrous so many of them are, yes the anxiety is real, but some of your reasoning for things are a little funky.
• Buy some more candles, they smell nice
• Do something for yourself every day
• Try to put others first sometimes, not necessarily emotionally, but you catch my drift
• Blessing bags??? (do it, I dare you…)
• Smile more

Today is the day.

This week has been a bit hectic, and I have tried so hard to push through but some days it was just too hard to make myself comfortable and I had a few stumbling blocks. But I’m here, and I’m okay!! Life has a tendency to get in the way, but with a nice routine you can get through anything. This week my biggest goal is to just get a hang of my schedule, smile through the hectic and not to let all the stuff bother me. DON’T SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF, ITS ALL SMALL STUFF. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I struggle to relinquish some control, but this week, I can do it. Keep smiling, push through your obstacles and come out stronger than ever this week! Be it school, work, your social life or a combination, you can do it, I know you can.
Until tomorrow.

xoxo

Tor  

 
To the road ahead…

So today, I was SO tired after I woke up from a nap. In being tired, naturally I was mad and anxious, (at the same time) which is never a healthy combo, BUT I CONQUERED IT! I wanted to punch things and throw things and cry all at the same time, but I didn’t.

I am still struggling every day to be the happy and amazing me that I love, but I’m getting there. I breathed, I hugged Lance, I talked it out and it disappeared. Anxiety is and always will be a huge obstacle, I really hope that one day I can completely overcome it.

xoxo,

Tor

“Nothing diminishes anxiety faster than action.” ~Walter Anderson

Day 4

 It all starts here: with the how. How did I come to the conclusion that I needed to love myself? How was I capable to just flip that switch and find my inner awesomeness? Well here goes, we’re diving DEEP.

Flashback to the beginning of the sad (2012-2013):

 I was a very heavy girl, at my largest I weighed 220 POUNDS, and with that came what I am about to tell you. I had a long bout with the ugly eating disorder named, Bulimia Nervosa, which, being as scientific as possible “is characterized by compulsive overeating usually followed by self-induced vomiting, and is often accompanied by guilt and depression.” It was scary, it was bad, and I really loathed myself, I didn’t understand why I couldn’t just  stop! That was my feeling for so long, until a dear friend found out and told my father, I WAS SO MAD, but soon I was so grateful. It was a weight lifted off of my shoulders, I HAD HELP, I WAS LOVED. However, the sadness remained…and with that the self loathing. I was finally able to start recovering, and for the most part, I did. Yes, I would purge from time to time, but today thankfully that has subsided 100%. 

Fast forward to 2014:

I lost so much weight! It was almost the healthy way, but not quite, you see I was working out, and I was eating, but I wasn’t eating enough! This my friends, was terrible. You see, I got so obsessed with how thin I was getting that every day I saw the numbers go down, I would think about what I ate that week, what workouts I did, and what routine I needed to keep watching those numbers drop! This is what the final diet consisted of, breakfast: 1 greek yogurt, lunch:salad mix with some balsamic vinegar, dinner: some chicken or fish and a tiny bit of rice OR a veggie….this may be okay for someone not very active, but I was at the gym for 1.5 to 2 hours a day! No wonder I was watching the weight fall off, and no wonder why I was so tired afterward! I realized how this routine wasn’t a good thing for the long-term.

In the now 2015:

This year I started to eat like a regular person should…YAY!!! With that, I’ve gained about 15 pounds, but I am happy and I am healthy! There have been so many tears, but also I’ve learned to smile at myself because I am strong and I am amazing.  As time has gone on this year, I have learned to manage my time…a tiny bit better…but…I still procrastinate! That’s why it’s 9am the day I want the post to be up, but that is also how you know these are my honest thoughts!

When you come out of the storm, you won’t be the same person that walked in. That’s what the storm is all about.

-Haruki Murakami

Remember to love yourself on this beautiful day, hurting yourself isn’t worth it, there is a long beautiful road ahead. RIDE. IT. OUT.

Have a happy, crazy and bootastic Halloween you beautiful people!

i. love. me.

xoxo

Tor

Day 3

I want you to think about something for a second, do you depend on makeup to feel good about yourself? Why?

Now let me start off by saying, I LOVE MAKEUP, but it shouldn’t be a crutch, it should be a creative outlet, an art form if you will. Contouring makes your cheek bones pop, eyeliner, mascara and eyeshadow makes your eyes fierce and lip liner and lipstick makes your lips extra pouty; it’s an incredible feeling! But…

I love the way I feel without it too. Without it I feel clean, refreshed, and beautiful! Yeah I have a round face, and I don’t have dark long luscious eyelashes, a thin upper lip and maybe some acne, but I have me, IN THE RAW. Why do we have to depend on makeup to make us feel our best when it kind of makes you just feel dirty? I think that we should wear it to let out our creativity everyday, not to cover up our FLAWS. What are flaws anyway? Who decided that we are flawed/flawless? F@#$ them, you are you and THAT is flawless!

I have a challenge for you, start making makeup a choice, don’t do it out of feeling ugly or that you will be judged. Wear it because you WANT to, not because you HAVE to. Flaunt the look you love, you. are. beautiful!

Love yourself, always.

xoxo,

Tor

#nofilter #nomakeup #raw

Day 2

Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.

Lucille Ball

Steps to self-love:

• Smile more (resting bitchy face doesn’t reflect your true demeanor anymore)
• Make it a point to read something you enjoy everyday
• Look at yourself in the mirror every day (Naked if you have to!) and tell yourself a few things that you love about your physical appearance
• Think about all the things you did well in the day, and applaud yourself because you’re AWESOME
• Reflect on things you didn’t do so well, and try again tomorrow
• Do more yoga, you don’t need to be so anxious
• Be 100% honest with yourself and others

Only AFTER you love yourself can you love everyone you encounter.Dance, Sing, Laugh, Love.

Anything is possible, I promise.

xoxo

Tor

Day 1

Fat. Ugly. Annoying. Stupid.
These are all words I USED to associate with myself, but today that all changes.
Beautiful. Smart. Healthy. Funny.
Everything to go by today and ALWAYS.
I have struggled coming to the conclusion that I just don’t like myself as much as I should, and that self loathing is no more. I am on a mission to love myself, so I can spread the love to all those that I encounter. No more regret, no more anxiety, this is Victoria, in the raw, with a vengeance of awesome.  

So today, and from now on, I am going to post a picture of myself and kind, inspiring or mood provoking words, today is the day that I change for the better.
From the new and improved me, signing off until tomorrow.
xoxo
Tor